The sadness within
by GloriousNymph
Summary: Is Draco really what people think he is? a cruel snob who hates mudbloods, or is there something deep within him? If there was could Harry be the one to see it? It contains bitchy Hermione at the first chapters!
1. Introduction

**Warning: This is an shounen ai story & also my very first fanfic so it probably isn't that good ;D  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, it all belongs to J.K Rowling.**

**I'm not good at explaining the story or stuff like that, so if you have questions just ask^^  
**

* * *

INTRODUCTION

Draco saw them, not only that, he could heart hem clearly. Very clearly. They thought he didn't, but they were fools. You would be deaf if you couldn't hear. Everyday at least five people would try to suck up to him; they wanted to bathe in his so called ´glory´.In their eyes he could get whatever he wanted and he didn't have to be concerned about his future. It was all so laughable, they thought that being friends with him meant free stuff. Oh they were so kind when they had that illusion, always looking at him with those greedy eyes, saying things to make him feel good. "Draco, your so cool. I can't believe you got so high scores." Was one of the things they would say, but once he'd left the room, their true faces appeared. "Bet his father was involved in some way", "You'll know he's gonna get good grades at Snape's classes, he's his godfather for crying out loud!" They always thought he didn't hear, but he did. They didn't understand how hard he had to work to get his fathers acceptance and love, they didn't want to. It seemed to him that no one wanted to see how much he really struggled. It was during their first year at Hogwarts that he had learnt how false everyone was.

Draco had made many friends, or so he thought. They always made him happy inside. Wherever he went they followed. Whatever he did hey would do the same, like bully Potter and his friends. He had thought that they had really liked him, like they cared for him. He couldn't remember ever feeling that feeling he had felt then. But one day he had overheard them, the words, the laughs and the hate they felt for him. It had made him feel so empty and cold. Like he had lost everything in one single breath. The next day he had ignored them, like they didn't exist to him. And starting that day, he had built a wall around him. So that no one could get near his heart, or his soul ever again.

But it still hurt every time he saw them, like someone punctured his heart. The only way he could get rid of the pain and angst he felt was being mean to people. Even tough he knew they didn't deserve it. But after doing something horrible to others, he always felt guilty. He wanted to apologize, saying he couldn't help it, or even giving them a hug. Especially when it came to Potter and his friends. After calling Granger a mudblood, the guilt had made him feel so bad that he had thrown up only minutes after. Or all the times he had made fun of the Weasly family, it had tormented him whenever he saw them. But the one that made him feel down to earth rotten was Potter. He knew what he had gone through and was going through, he had it even worse than himself. But still, he couldn't help himself.

The guilt he felt had gone so bad that he had started cutting himself, but no one ever noticed. He had found a spell making the scars disappear. But he really wanted people to se. He wanted someone to tell him everything was going to be alright and give him a hug. Someone he could trust. A person he would allow to know him through the concrete wall. If he ever met that person he would give him/her his heart.

* * *

TBC


	2. Chapter one

**So here ladies and gentlemen is another chapter! YAY! I don't own Harry Potter, he belongs to J.K Rowling.**

* * *

Chapter one

HP

It hadn't been his intention too see, it had been a coincidence. Harry had tried to get away from school, his friends and everything else for just one moment.

Even though he really liked Hogwarts and his two best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, he just couldn't be with them all the time, he needed a break from everything in order to not explode. Because if he did explode his feelings would all come up from the surface. The pain, hate, fear and hurt were just a few, but they were the ones he tried his best to hide.

Everyone thought of Harry as a courageous hero who had survived the most evil wizard there was. Even though there was almost always a smile on his face, Harry was in reality broken. The years spent with the Dursleys, knowing nothing about his parents, always being alert if danger was hiding in the corner plus not knowing who he really was made him go insane.

Sometimes he hated Ron and Hermione, the pity in their eyes and the expectations they had on him. He hated when people pitied him, did they think it would make him feel better? Why did they expect so much from him anyway? He was just a simple human being. Why was it always him fighting against the Dark lord, risking his life. Couldn't Dumbledore do it? Or at least someone who knew what they were doing.

Of course he hated the Dark Lord for killing his parents, he would hate anyone who had done that. But the thing was, he didn't wish to risk his own life. He always felt like a puppet being used by everyone around him. Sometimes he wanted to be mean, like Draco.

Draco could say cruel things without second thoughts. He wanted to be able to do that once in a while. Like saying to Hermione that no one cared about her being oh so smart, because there weren't that many who liked a smart bitch. Or saying to Ronald that his family could mind their own damn business, because they pissed him off.

But that was something he could never do, unlike Draco he had a conscience.

Back to the story. He had followed a Slytherine in his invisible cloak down to the Slytherine home. While there he had gone to their toilets and locked himself in a booth. Why? Well the Slytherine male toilet (he didn't have the courage to go to the ladies) was the only place were his two best friends or teachers wouldn't go looking for him. And he only went there when he knew most of the students would have classes or during lunch. It had become his sanctuary.

This day he had gotten company by someone unexpected. "Damnit!" He had heard a very familiar voice shout. A door opening, footsteps, a spell locking the door and deep breaths. Where had he heard this voice before? While reflecting on it he had heard sobs. Sobs so unnoticeable that he had had to look if the person was really crying.

He had opened his door enough to be able to see, but so little that the person wouldn't notice. What he had seen had truly shocked him. At one of the basins a boy with blonde hair and pale skin was looking at his wrist. At first Harry hadn't noticed because of the shock from the tears running from Draco's cheeks, but he finally had caught sight of something crimson red dripping down his wrist.

At first he hadn't taken in what it was, but when he realized what it was he became so shocked that he couldn't help but gasp.

Of course Draco had heard and had turned around in a flash, making the blood fly. "Shit!" he'd said quickly making the blood and wound go away with a spell. Then he had moved quickly to were Harry had been hiding. Opening the door to find… nothing, nothing but silence. He had sighed with relief, no one had found out about his secret. He felt relieved, or at least it should have made him, but it only made him feel… lonely.

Harry had stood completely silent, not moving a single muscle, trying hard to control his breathing. Draco hadn't noticed him, but was still standing in front of him. At first all Harry had thought about was trying to not get discovered, but then he saw Draco's eyes. He never noticed before, but Draco's grey eyes were truly beautiful. Then he saw something in them he thought he'd only see in his own eyes, loneliness, sadness and chaos.

He had stood there paralyzed, only looking at those eyes. "Why does Draco have those kind of eyes?" He had wondered puzzled.

Suddenly Draco had moved, making Harry come back from his trance. The blonde boy had sighed, then walked out of the bathroom looking as he had usually done, snobby, mean and full of himself. But Harry, sitting on the toilet, knew he had discovered something about the boy that no one else had. And he wanted to know more. He needed to.

* * *

TBC


	3. Chapter two

**So here's another chapter. This one got a itsy bitsy bit longer then the first one. I hope you manage to read it trough.**

* * *

Chapter two

HP

Harry lay on his bed, eyes shut, one hand behind his head, the other rubbing his temple. He was the only in the room at the moment. This day had brought him such a headache. The whole day had been a mess. When he got back from Slytherine Ron and Hermione had found him. Hermione being the strict one had lectured him about walking off to somewhere without telling them and skipping classes.

"Bitch" he said silently, knowing no one would hear him.

After that he had tried to escape them by saying that he needed to go to the bathroom to shit. He gave out a little "heh" while thinking of how red Hermione had gotten when he'd said it. He knew she had told Ron to go with him, but Harry had given him a pissed off look making Ron too scared. _"Stupid wuss"_ he thought irritated.

After getting rid of Ron he had just strolled around in the castle having nothing to do but trying not to get caught by any teachers. This day had been so weird that he wasn't up for classes. But of course fate was also going to be a bitch, like always.

He had met the one teacher he had prayed not to meet, Snape. The potions master had also lectured him, but harsher than Hermione. And not only that, he had taken away points from Gryffindor, a LOT, saying "It's unforgivable that the so called Golden boy skips classes, that's why I'm taking away this much points. Think about your fellow Gryffindor before you go skipping again Potter" That self-centered, crow looking, smelly son of a bitch. He thought bitter.

After that he had gone to his room and now here he was. His thoughts suddenly drifted from his shitty teachers and friends to Draco. He had been on his mind the whole day. The crimson red blood, the wet tears and especially those sad and lonely eyes. They had made his heart skip a beat. Why was it that Draco emitted those kind of feelings?

----

DM

Draco looked out the window. The weather was like him, gloomy. He looked around the classroom. Granger looked pissed and hurt, Weasley looked hurt and Potter looked… were was Potter by the way? He looked around the classroom confused.

He looked again at Granger, who gave him a look saying _Fuck off Draco_. He gave up on her and looked at Weasley instead. Weasley on the other hand looked like he was in a trance. _"whatever"_ he thought _"Potter is probably sick"_.

And suddenly the guilt came, _"was it my fault?"_

During the whole class he couldn't focus on anything but the guilt he felt for the pain he might have caused Harry. Whenever someone he had ever been mean to was sick, he always felt guilt. Especially when it came to people he had been really cruel to.

During a couple of weeks Draco had been thinking of becoming a better person, then maybe he would get rid of all the guilt and angst. But he didn't have the courage to go through with it. There were so many reasons why he should, but even more why he shouldn't. One were that he would embarrass and disappoint his father, another was people were going to think of it as a joke and hate him even more. There were so many reasons.

"_But one person should be alright right?" _he thought as he strolled around, not knowing where he was going. _"Then maybe I could get rid of a little weight on my shoulders" _but then that thought came to mind _"Who would ever want to forgive someone like me?"_

He looked around to see were his feet had taken him only to find himself at the Gryffindor entrance. _"What the hell?!" _he looked around confused _"Is fate playing a twisted game with me today? How the hell did I get here?"_

------

HP

Harry got up from his bed and walked towards the bedroom door. _"I can't be stuck here all day, I'll have to find Ron and Hermione and apologize. Or else it will get really awkward when Ron comes to the room."_He let out a sigh and found himself by the Gryffindor entrance. _"I haven't gotten any peace of mind because of…" _ "DRACO?!" It had really surprised him to see the blond boy in front of Gryffindor, why was he there?

------

HP MD

"DRACO!?"

Draco looked at the door and saw Harry standing there with a surprised expression. _"Damnit! Why did I stay so long!?"_

"What are you doing at Gryffindor?" Harry asked still as surprised as before, then he remembered what had happened earlier and looked down at his feet. He couldn't look him in the eyes, he could barely look at him at all. Knowing his secret. He looked down at Draco's wrist, and saw nothing. _"Oh right, he used a spell…"_

Draco noticed how Harry couldn't look at his face, or eyes like he usually did. He noticed that his eyes were fixated on his wrist. He started fidgeting nervously pulling his hand behind his back. "Hrm, because you ditched class the professor asked me to see what you were doing." _"God I suck at lying,"_

Harry looked away from were Draco's wrist had been. "Oh… so why didn't he ask Hermione or Ron to do it?"

Draco didn't know what to do or say in this situation, so he did the that had made him famous in school.

"Oh my god Potter, are you a child or something?! Must it be your stupid little friends all the time? What!? You don't want others but them to see the great and wonderful boy-who-lived miserable?? Bet you cried your eyes of while thinking about your stupid parents"

Draco took a breath before saying his last sentence "You're pathetic. "

Harry looked up for a second and met Draco's eyes. They showed hurt. _"Damn it… I did it again" _Draco thought devastated. He turned his back on Harry to walk away, but stopped when he heard Harry saying

"Why do you always pain me like this?"

Harry's voice was small, and it sounded like he was about to cry, or was crying.

"Damn it Draco! What did I ever do to you?! Why do you hate me so much?!" Harry tried to scream, but the sobbing stopped him.

Draco turned around to look at him. And again the pain came, but this time it was worse then it had ever been before. This was the first time he had ever seen Harry cry. He turned his back to him.

"I'm sorry" He whispered, his voice breaking midway. This was too much. He could feel how the pressure on his heart got tighter and tighter. Suddenly he could feel something warm and wet running down his cheeks.

And just like that, everything he was holding inside pushed it's way out. His legs couldn't hold him anymore, and he fell to his knees. His sobs and screams blocking out all other sounds.

Harry looked in shock. He had seen Draco cry earlier, but those were just sobs. Right now Draco was crying as if there was no tomorrow. What was he supposed to do? This was the first time something like this had ever happened to him.

He moved closer to Draco, while wiping the tears on his cheeks. He bent down in front of the blonde, who had his face buried in his hands, still crying. Then he moved his arms around Draco's body and hugged him…

* * *

TBC


	4. Chapter three

**So here is another chapter, hopefully you didn't** **have to wait too long, and hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter as well. Harry Potter and all the characters belongs to J.K Rowling, but this fic is totally owned by me. Copyright people!**

* * *

Chapter three

How long had they been there? It was a miracle no one from Gryffindor had seen them. To Harry it felt like forever, and strangely enough, he wanted it to last longer. The embrace felt warm and something more, but he couldn't put a finger on it.

When being hugged by either Ron and his family or Hermione it felt nice, like they cared for him. But it was always them hugging him. He never came to hug them. Maybe that was the reason it felt so different.

To Draco it was something amazing. No one had ever hugged him, what he could remember. In his family a hug was something that weakened you, an embarrassment his father always said. In this moment he couldn't understand his him, how could he shun something that felt so good, so warm and wonderful? How could his mother love someone that cold? _"Or maybe father only acts that way towards me." _Draco thought sadly.

He hadn't noticed that the crying had stopped, neither had Harry. Both their minds and bodies were fixed on the embrace. To them letting go wasn't an option, though they didn't know why they felt that way. Maybe it was the fact that they had always felt lonely in their own way.

Suddenly they heard some noise and both were taken back to reality. Draco looked Harry in the eyes, embarrassed and confused, then he quickly turned his head away and stood up. He looked around making sure no one had seen them, he then glanced down at Harry, his eyes filled with thousands of questions.

Before Harry could say or do anything Draco was already on his way out of there. "Draco…" but before he could complete his sentence Draco put his hand up "We'll talk another time, at a better place where we can get privacy." He said, his voice unsteady and his eyes focused ahead. He took Harry's silence as an approval and continued to walk away.

* * *

Harry sat there pondering. What had happened was so bizarre. He had given his second worst enemy (after You-know-who) a hug, when he had been crying, and he had hugged him back. Not yelling or pushing him off like the _normal _Draco would have done.

But it had felt so nice. Never in his life had he thought someone like Malfoy would feel so comfortable to hug, he always seemed so cold. The other thing that had been bizarre to him was that Draco had said that they would talk again. He hadn't told him to pretend nothing had happened or to forget it ever had happened. When he thought about it, he became him happy.

"Harry!" Hermione said with a high, cold voice. _"Oh, just the person I wanted to see… and yay she's pissed" _Harry thought bitterly, she had awoken him from his dreaming. "Wipe that stupid grin off your face" she said angrily while Ron hid behind her, his head down staring at the floor. _"Still hurt I see" _Harry rubbed his temple with irritation. "Why the hell are you irritated?! Any idea how upset you made me and Ron? Especially Ron!" She screamed at him after seeing action. Ron turned his head quickly at her embarrassed. He did not want Harry to know how upset he had been, even if it had been obvious.

Harry got to his feet. He let out a deep sigh. Walked to his so called best friends. Put his hands on Ron's shoulders and turned him so that they were face to face. First he looked down, but after taking a deep breath he looked Ron in the eyes. "I'm sorry pal, I've been such a bitch." He said bumping their foreheads together, their eyes still linked. Ron shone up in a huge and bright smile. He pulled Harry closer in a buddy kind of hug. "You know I forgive you mate!"

Hermione, who had watched the whole thing, was now anticipating her apology. But got a surprise when Harry and Ron walked together towards Gryffindor, Harry not even looking at her. "What the hell Harry!? Where's my apology??" she shrieked. Harry turned around and looked at her "I apologized to Ron, because I had treated him badly. I didn't do anything to you" He said emotionless, but in his mind he had a huge grin.

* * *

Draco lay on his bed, eyes staring up, but not focused. His mind was filled with so many things that he was afraid it might explode. What a weird day this has been he thought smiling while running a hand through his blonde hair. "Man, I never thought Potter would be the one to make me cry" he whispered silently to himself, glad none of his roommates were there.

"_Why is it that he's the one always bringing out the worst in me?"_He looked down at his wrist. It had healed completely, leaving no scar visibly what so ever, thanks to the spell. _"Would he have cared if he had seen it?"_His eyes were once again on the wrist. "If he would then he'd be the first" he let out in a small whisper.

He suddenly noticed how cold he'd become after leaving Harry's warm arms. He had told him they would talk again, but when? To be honest he really wanted to talk, to get everything he had inside him out, even if it was Harry he would be talking to.

But how would they be able to do that? It would feel too weird and awkward to just ask him if they could talk. And it was something he would never do. He took a deep breath, then breathing out slowly to calm himself down. He couldn't think about it now, he was too tired. And before he knew it he was asleep.

* * *

TBC

**Don't be afraid to say what you think, I'm up to critisism. **


	5. Chapter four

**I want to apologize to those who doesn't like my treatment of Hermione, I'm sorry but someone's gonna have to be the bitch, but I'll might make it better between the two. And for all of you that have waited a long time, getting pissed and such, here's a new chapter! Enjoy ;D  
**

* * *

Chapter four

Harry was standing in the library looking for a book. Well half his brain was looking while the other was occupied with thinking, mostly about Draco. Hermione had ordered him to look for a specific book that she wanted too read, she called it his punishment for upsetting her and Ron. He had planned on declining, but the look she gave scared the hell out of him. He knew what she was capable of doing and he still wanted to have the ability to bring children to the world.

He let out a sigh, _"Why do I hang out with her? Oh right… Ron… But why do I hang out with him?" _He knew it wasn't them he was really angry with, and he didn't like that the three (especially him and Hermione) had drifted so far apart since Ron and Hermione had become a couple. The three of them were so close before. At the beginning he had given them space to be with each other, but then he'd become angry and lonely and had taken it out on them. _"I should apologize..."_

While in deep thought he started to wander around the place, not knowing where he was headed or paying any attention on his surrounding.

BAM!!

"Look where the hell you're walking dickhead!" A familiar voice said irritated. Harry looked up while correcting his glasses. The blonde looked at Harry with irritation, but when he saw who it was his expression changed. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out, he was reminded of what had happened a few days ago.

Draco had tried his best not to collide with him, well classes they had together was inevitable. But he made sure not to look at him. Frankly, he was too embarrassed.

He gave up on saying anything by just letting out a sigh. The two boys got up, brushing off the dust, then looked at each other. Draco could feel his cheeks getting redder, something he knew was a contrast to his blonde hair and pale skin. This was too awkward, especially with all the people around them. He turned his back on Harry and started to walk away.

Harry stood there confused. Then he remembered about the talk. "Wait Draco" he started to follow the boy, but the blonde quickened his steps. _"He's going to get away"_ he thought irritated. "Congelarsio!" _(Spell I made up... I think it's Italian for freeze, I just added an O... Sorry if it's the wrong word XS) _Draco froze in an instant. "Potter what do you think your doing?!" Harry walked slowly towards him. "You said we were going to talk, remember?" Draco was silent for a while, thinking about what to do. His heart told him to talk to Harry, but his mind the opposite. "Alright" he said following his hearts wishes.

They went to the seventh floor, towards the only place they knew they could get privacy. The door was already there. It was a really old looking door, but it had a special charm. It was a welcoming door that made you want to open it and go inside.

They opened the door and found a room filled with candles and in the middle of it all were two armchairs, presumably from the 17th century.

The two boys looked at each other with confusion. This seemed a little too romantic.

"Well… after you I guess…" Harry said slightly embarrassed. Draco just nodded and walked ahead. Then he stopped when he was by the armchairs, waiting for Harry to sit down first.

* * *

How long had it been? It felt like hours. They had just been sitting there across each other staring, not knowing how to start or what to say. _"Well… it was kinda stupid of me thinking he would open up immediately"_ Harry had thought after a few minutes, but he expected Draco to say at least something during this time.

"Draco, you said we would talk, so T. A. L. K!" He said irritated staring at the blond. Draco looked up at Harry with a sour face. "Well it's not as easy as you think Potter! I can't just open up just like that, It's harder for me than for others, plus… it's embarrassing…" Harry noticed how red his cheeks were. It was rather cute…._"What?! Cute? I meant eh… it fits him or something, absolutely not cute!"_He shrugged. Then he looked up witha serious face.

"I saw you Draco, I was what you did…" he pointed at Draco's wrist.

At first Draco didn't understand what he meant, he sat there wondering. Then suddenly it hit him. His eyes widened in horror and shock.

"WHAT?!" He yelled furiously, happy no one else could hear him. "How the hell could you have seen? Did you sneak in to Slytherine? I'm gonna tell professor Snape about this, and trust me you'll be in deep trouble!" He walked towards the door, then he felt Harry grabbing his arm.

"Is that really a good idea? If you tell him that, then I'll tell about what you have been doing to yourself. " He said with a calm voice, looking him in the eyes. "Now calm down, get back, sit down and talk to me. "

Draco hesitated at first, but coming here and then just go back with having accomplished nothing at all was just pure stupidity. He walked to his chair and sat down.

"How come you were at Slytherine? And how did you get there unnoticed by the way?" This had been nagging him since he found out that Harry knew.

"Draco don't you dare, we came here so you could talk"

"Isn't that unfair? I think it's better we both talk, that way it won't be that embarrassing, so just answer my question"

He gave him a glare, but it made sense. "Alright, I guess you have a point there." Silence "Hrm… I went down to Slytherine using my invisible cloak. I go there quite often you know, anyway, I just wanted some peace and quiet. Somewhere I could be myself without somebody breathing down my neck. I thought I was going to be alone, since we had classes, but then you came in and I saw what I saw." It became silent again.

He looked at Draco and saw that he was processing what he'd just said. "I sat in the bathroom stall you opened, of course you couldn't see me since I was invisible. The expression you had, well let's say you're the first person I've seen with such emotions except from myself. And that's why I wanted to have this talk with you."

There was silence again. Draco was pondering, taking in everything Harry had just said. "I know that you have been through a lot Potter, and I guess you still get upset by those things. But you have Granger and Weasley now. Why do you still feel that way? You seemed Happy…" He finally said with a sad voice.

They looked at each other. Harry didn't really know what to say, sometimes he didn't know either.

"They do make me happy, they make me feel loved. But at times I get the feeling that they and everyone else are taking pity on me because of my past. I know they mean well, but they don't understand the pressure I have. Because I'm _'the boy who lived'_ people expect so much from me. I just wish they could accept me for being Harry Potter not _Harry Potter_, do you understand what I mean? "

Draco was amazed by how honest Harry was, and the way he felt. He never could have guessed that Harry was feeling so torn.

"I guess I know what you mean. Being a Malfoy isn't as easy and glamorous as people think. My father expects from me the best and nothing else. Not only that, I can't trust anyone because of my money and name. You never know who likes you for you or who likes you for the money and the name. At first… At first they seem so kind and affectionate, but when they think you don't hear them their true faces appears. You disgust them and they loath you. When you _come back_ they're back to _normal_. I haven't been able to trust anyone since our first year…"

It became quiet once again. Harry wasn't as surprised as Draco had been. He had heard how they talked about him, but he didn't think Draco knew about it. _"How has he been able to put on such a face, knowing?"_

"Is that why you… eh… cut yourself?"

Draco was brought back from his daze with that question. He focused his eyes on a candle and let out a deep sigh.

"Not only…"

"What else could there be?"

"…guilt"

"Guilt? For what?"

He sighed again, and suddenly he could feel the urge to cry. He bit his lip, trying to make it go away.

"What do you think?! If you haven't noticed I don't treat people very nice, I'm a horrible person!"

This shocked Harry to such a degree that he couldn't say anything.

The tears were there, he hadn't been able to stop them. "Did you think that all those times I've called Granger a mudblood or mocked Weasley for being pathetically poor I didn't feel anything?! Dear Merlin! If I didn't feel anything that would feel great! This agony wouldn't be here! The things I do to you Harry give me such grief! It just hurts so much…"

His cheeks were covered with tears, he couldn't stop crying. Once again the things he had built up inside him were coming out, but this time it seemed it was everything. The concrete wall inside him was breaking. Harry sat there paralyzed.

"… For once I just want to be able to apologize for everything I've done! Atone for my sins! To say I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'M SORRY HARRY, I'M SO SORRY!! P-p-lease I-I-I'm sorry, can you ever forgive me?! "

He was on the floor in front of Harry. His arms were on Harry's legs while his face was buried in his hands, moderating the loud cries of agony. Not only that, he was quivering. Harry looked down at his head. He had never seen Draco this vulnerable, it made his heart ache. He grabbed Draco and lifted him, so that his face was buried in his shoulders. Draco embraced his neck, while Harry gently rubbed his back. "Sh… sh… It's all right, everything will be alright… hush…"

They sat there, Harry on the armchair with Draco on his knee, embracing each other for a long time. _"Déjà vu"_ Harry thought while still rubbing his back. The blonde had fallen asleep, worn out by their talk and his crying. _"Can't blame him" _

But Draco felt better, like something was taken off his chest. "I'm sorry Harry…" he said in his sleep. Harry smiled while stroking the blonde's hair "I know…" He wasn't going to wake him yet, even though he was heavy, he wanted to stay like this a little longer.

* * *

**Well I'm not really sure if there's gonna be a TBC, but I want one so that I can deepen their feeling and better Harry's friendship with Ron and Hermione adn such. But I was thinking this would be a good ending... What do you guys think? should there be a TBC or is this good? REVIEWS PEOPLE REVIEWS! **


	6. Chapter five

**Hi, I know it's been a long time since I updated this story. Well you know school and all that has kept me away! Harry Potter is owned by J.K Rowling, God bless that woman... I'm atheist by the way ;D DONT HATE ME FOR IT! :'( anyway enjoy^^**

Chapter five

No one in the whole school, except for Dumbledore maybe, knew what had happened between the two that day, and in the eyes of someone not looking carefully they seemed like before. But the two had definitely changed, in each others eyes. When Harry saw Draco's eyes he could see a kind but wounded soul, who needed someone to be there. When Draco looked in Harry's eyes he saw warmth and comfort, someone who would be there. It made him feel warm inside, knowing it was genuine. Harry was the first one, beside his mother and maybe his father, to be showing that towards him.

After the first meeting in the secret room they had continued. It wasn't something they had planed, especially in Draco's case, but whenever Draco saw that Harry needed some talking or the other way around they had snuck away. But it was mostly Draco who needed saving, something he had started to notice...

* * *

It was late at night, they sat across each other, in silence. Harry couldn't help but feel awkward, not because of the silence but because of Draco's intense stare. _'I'll admit that I like his eyes, but he's acting really weird right now and it's CREEPING ME OUT!' _

"Draco, you have something to say right? Because if you don't then why did you drag me here?" He didn't intend for it to come out like that, but he was getting tired and irritated.

The blonde studied his face, it was as calm as a sheep, but he knew there were things hidden beneath those green eyes. He completely forgot Harry had said something. _'Those eyes are really green...They're almost inhuman...'_

The boy who lived was getting irritated at this point, but kept silent, letting Draco do what he wanted, at least for a while. _'There's no use saying something, it's futile, he won't listen and I will feel stupid' _

He sat there, letting the blonde do his thing until he felt it was getting to uncomfortable and taking too long time. He snapped out of his stare and focused on something else.

"Malfoy!"

The blonde was put back in reality, noticing Harry wasn't looking at him. The brunette almost never used to call him by his last name during their meeting, neither did he.

"Yeah Harry?" He said a little surprised.

Harry corrected his glasses, still not looking at the other boy, then he let out a deep sigh.

"Draco, can't we talk? I mean, wasn't that the reason you brought me here? You wanting to clear your heart." Harry said with a serious and irritated voice.

"Sorry, seems I drifted away a little." The blonde said feeling a little hurt by the tone in Harry's voice. "But I didn't drag you here so that I could talk, I want you to open up more, it doesn't feel right me being the only one."

Harry turned his head and looked at Draco. He knew that what the blonde said was true, but, it felt weird being told to open up by someone else other than Dumbledore, and even then he couldn't completely. Harry was someone who listened, not the other way around. But that wasn't the thing, knowing that Draco cared for him made him feel warm, and loved.

Draco observed the brunette across him. He had been quiet for quite some time, his eyes locked on the floor. _"He must be in deep thought". _

"Draco, after we had talked for the first time did you stop cutting yourself? Did it make you feel better in anyway?"

Draco didn't need to think the question through, because the answer for it, to him, was obvious.

"After the first time I still had the urge to do it, and I almost did, a few occasions, but when we started to have these meetings more often the feeling went away. Because you know Harry, to be able to open yourself knowing someone listens to you without judging you is really... how do I say it... it brings happiness. Something is lifted off of your shoulders. I want you to experience that too. I can sense that your shoulders are heavy, I mean with everything that's going on around you. Everyone expects great things from you."

Harry smiled. _"So Draco noticed huh? And here I thought I was hiding it really well"_

"Yeah, you're right." His smile faded away a little, his eyes saddened. "There has been a lot since I came to Hogwarts, even before. I haven't really told Ron and Hermione the whole story about me growing up, so you'll be the first. Promise me that you'll keep everything I've told you a secret?"

Draco nodded.

"Well, were shall I start? My relatives didn't exactly treat me nice, I would say they treated me like shit even, or worse! I mean, what do I know? I lived with them my whole life and it seemed normal. Anyway, I still have scars, mental mostly. I can't stand narrow rooms, especially when it's dark. Sometimes at I wake in the middle of the night, afraid that my uncle will come and beat the living hell out of me 'cuz I didn't do what I was told."

The blonde gasped, he hadn't thought the-boy-who-lived had lived such a hard life. Harry continued. His smile was gone, his eyes moist and empty and his voice hallow.

"I can't confide to anyone, because I'm afraid I'll get stabbed in the back. Love isn't easy either, loving and being loved is still new to me. And on top of that, there's an evil wizard wanting to kill me, whom everyone expects me to kill!" His voice had turned hysterical. "Why am I the one?! How can they expect me, who isn't even in his twenties, to do something like that?! What if I don't want to?? What if I don't have the courage?? What if I fail"

The brunette had started to hyperventilate. The blonde got up and walked over to the other boy, he took Harry's head to his stomach in a hug, and let him vent out all his anger, sadness and fear. He could feel Harry's arms around his waist as he caressed his hair. His shirt had become rumpled and wet, but he didn't care, even if it wasn't Malfoy-like.

When the brunette had calmed down Draco knelt down, so that he was face to face with him, and began to speak.

"Harry, it's ok to be scared and angry. It's ok to have scars and not being perfect doesn't matter. It's stupid that everyone puts their hope on you in defeating The dark lord, they're stupid, insensitive and they don't understand how it feels. And it's alright to not be able to confide to anyone, when your ready you'll do it. Same with love and being loved. It will come. But don't keep doing what I did, speak when you need to and let it all out.

Harry nodded with a smile and grabbed Draco's hands. The blonde had been right, he felt much better. To be truthful, he hadn't felt this good ever. All that angst had subsided. Draco looked at their connected hands, it felt nice, special. He looked up at Harry, and suddenly their lips were connected as well.

Before he had had the chance to react Harry had pulled away hastily. In seconds he was up, his eyes shamed and avoiding. Draco could hear him mumble sorry as Harry started to walk to the door.

"Harry!"

Harry could feel how Draco grabbed his arm and found himself, once again, with his lips on Draco's. The kiss was awkward, but a whole lot better than the first one. But he didn't care, all he could think about was sensation, the taste, the feeling. It all felt so right. The blonde hair in his hands were so soft and light, like silk. The skin was flawless and smooth. Draco was the one to pull away. The both of them breathed heavily.

"Damn lungs needing air." Harry said, voice filled with lust.

They started laughing. Draco sighed and looked up at him.

"I wish we could continue, but it's late. We should go back to our dorms."

Even if Harry didn't want to, he knew the blonde was right. When they were outside of the room, Harry stopped Draco.

"Promise me that isn't going to be the last time we do something like that."

"Ha-ha… Of course not!"

Draco gave him a quick peck on the lips and walked away while snickering.

"Promise me THAT wasn't the last time!" He could hear behind him.

"We'll see Harry, we'll see."

* * *

**Don't be afraid to review. What did you like, what DIDN'T you like and all that. I dont know when the next chapter is coming and I'm unsure if I should continue or let it end like this, so let me know.**


End file.
